How I got my teenage boys to be well-mannered, not talk back, not use slang, know the five branches of philosophy, and wash your dishes if invited over for dinner.

Raising kids is hard. I have two teen boys, 11 and 14. I know. But how can we make it easier, or at least less hard? Here are 16 guiding principles to ensure your children grow into adulthood with a high quality of life.

1. Kids are computers. Input equals output. If you don’t like the output, fix the input.
2. Kids are humans who grow into adults; always speak to them like an adult.
3. If you want your kids to perform, performance requires preparation: rest, nutrition, and perfect practice.
4. Nothing is learned by explaining it once. Learning anything requires constant, rigorous repetition. Be prepared to be a broken record as a parent.
5. A parent's job is to teach. You should be teaching things that add value in the modern world, often principles that can stand the test of time.
6. It is a sin for a child not to see what their body is capable of.
7. It is a sin for a child not to read and extend their vocabulary.
8. It is a sin for a child not to be taught how to dress for the occasion. There is life after sportswear and baggy clothes.
9. It's a sin for a child not to understand the concept of being worldly.
10. Your job isn’t always to teach a lesson.
11. Kids are often the center of attention. Remind them the world doesn't revolve around them.
12. Kids should always be taught at the PhD level. Let them decide if they get it or not, not you.
13. The underlying theme of all your teachings should align with your kids living autonomously. Dependency in adult life is chronic, torturous cruelty. Don’t do that.
14. All kids should know the five branches of philosophy and their two diametrically opposite views: Metaphysics, Epistemology, Ethics, Politics, and Aesthetics.
15. When kids ask why, you better have a good response, and it should always align with how it increases their quality of life.
16. Kids should be taught what it means to have standards and values and to fight to keep them.

Raising well-mannered, thoughtful, and responsible children is challenging but achievable with the right principles. By consistently teaching values, encouraging independence, and advocating a love for learning, we can guide our children toward a high quality of life. Remember, input equals output—what we teach our children today shapes their output for tomorrow.

Brion Hickey ​Find me on X or Book a 1:1 Call​

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